A Full Circle Moment
“My journey throughout the show showed me you can fail without being a failure.” She would argue that if she wanted to remain in the entertainment industry she could do so, but it just wasn't her path. This is what led her to become an educator. “What is meant for you,” she tells me, “you will know.”"
The line wraps around the corner of Macy’s. Every single girl on that line is beautiful. Imagine the casting call for Barbie, its pure beauty. The line was filled with girls you would see on your pinterest board. Imagine instagram models. Imagine the beautiful women you saw on television growing up. Every type of persuasion was on that line.
Bianca Golden. 5’11. 110 pounds. Her big moment. It all came down to three things. The yes or the no. “Looking back none of it mattered,” she told me. However, these statistics helped guarantee or deny the start of her career on America’s Next Top Model. We all know her as Ms.Golden, but this wasn't always who she was.
Unlike most, Golden didnt grow up as a huge modeling fanatic. She started her modeling career going to open casting calls at 13. Golden grew up with people telling her she should always be a model due to her natural genetic makeup. “I have always been tall and skinny,” she said.
She faced rejection at a really early age coming into the modeling world. It all worked in her favor, though, as she is a huge believer that the universe gets you where you are supposed to be. “I remember wanting red hair on the back of my head and black in the front,” she told me, “because that was a thing at the time.” What Golden didn't realize was that the cards were shuffling to work in her favor. Thinking back to that moment, she said that “the hair stylist I went to completely messed up and did it the opposite way, and I hated it.” Still, this was a contributing factor that led to her success. “What I hadn't realized was that, had I not had that red hair, I would've completely blended in with everyone else.” The universe set Golden up to stand out and she became a force to be reckoned with. During her time on ANTM, she placed fourth.
Golden manifested going on America’s Next Top Model. Tyra Banks had once shared a very similar story to Golden’s that deeply inspired her. At a very young age, Tyra Banks was all Golden could talk about. She smiles from ear to ear as she thinks of a letter she wrote to Banks when she was 17. The letter included everything she ever wanted to say. “Tyra actually wrote me back and she was one of the first people who understood,” she told me, “she didn't see me physically but she saw me”. Golden still keeps the letter to this day. It holds an immense amount of power.
Between throwing keys back and forth with students to unlock the bathroom door for students as we sit in the hallway at Comp Sci High, Golden delivers her takeaways from being on the show: “My journey throughout the show showed me you can fail without being a failure.” She would argue that if she wanted to remain in the entertainment industry she could do so, but it just wasn't her path. This is what led her to become an educator. “What is meant for you,” she tells me, “you will know.”
Over the summer at a teacher professional development session, Golden sensed an opening. It was the first time I saw her face. The first ever time I heard words come out her mouth. She sat slightly outside the room enough for you to see her head and she stood up. “Oftentimes with young black girls we often think they are talking with attitude and aggression but it's just who we are, and yes we do have some oomph to our voices,” Golden says. “I try to say the things that maybe are not being said”.
Golden recalls being that little black girl who always had sass. “When we speak about the way in which black girls talk, what people tend to miss is the passion and culture in our voice – it's literally what makes who we are,” Golden says. “It's why I talk about black girls so often, and we forget that behind the sass, there is a barrier we have to put up every single day.” Golden adds: “I just want to give kids what I was given.”
She tells me that she wants to be a vessel, and I ask her what a vessel is for. “I am a vessel because people are vessels for me, but above that I am a translator for those young girls who don't have the language to always say what needs to be said.” Golden is fulfilled by her life so far: “I want to show people that you can have multiple careers, fail a million times, be from the hood and dress up.”
“When I see my kids succeed,” she says, “I feel fulfilled.”
Golden is well experienced as an influencer, but she is also knowledgeable on what it means to be black, a woman, educator, and an inspiration. However this does not change how some may perceive her. “Because I was on reality television,” she says, “I used to find it hard to come into spaces as an educator because people would create these perceptions of me.” She continues: “Most would think I was a “bitch,” which I don't shy away from, because I can be all those things, but it was a show, it portrays me in a way.” Then, she adds:“I'm not going to be unapologetic for who I am”.
Golden is currently going through a divorce and in a transitional period of her life. “I'm redefining what my life is,” she says. In this new stage of her life she has had to question herself so much: “I have to translate so much of who I am currently.” She undeniably knows herself but in this space she has to question that: “I would name this chapter of my life growth and transition.”
She also names “I don't know how this shows up in the conversation, but kids are not the only ones going through things; adults are experiencing life as well.” Her life looks completely different and as the English Department Chair, her current and only focus is her work in this school. “I want to make sure teachers are showing up as their best self,” she says, “and in turn students are being their best selves”.
Some would be surprised to know that Golden is planning a fashion show here at Comp Sci High: “When people hear fashion show they think it's fun, but I take this so seriously”. Students can look forward to untraditional choreography, but not quite dancing: “When people hear choreo they think of dancing but it's the way you move your body, your walk, poses.” Golden plans to use this fashion show as another form of teaching: “Even in the sense of a fashion show I am teaching kids skills; a good teacher names it and doesn't just do it.” She believes a good teacher shows you, a great teacher transfers those skills.
Golden switches gears in our conversation as it winds to a close. She tells me: “This may be a little morbid, but I know it's worth it when on the day of my funeral, it's completely full.” She wants kids to be there for her, since “they pour into me, and I pour into them so much.” Golden thinks of it all the time. “It's a full circle moment,” she says.